and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
