Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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