OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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