Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Randomize
