...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you win again, gameday.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
