i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Mom said you looked used
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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