guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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