Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
