After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
