i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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