Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
