You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
