P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I yelled at your uterus for you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
