I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this will be a night to untag.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
