I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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