if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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