matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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