thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
