bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
