..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize