Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
