Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
