Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I want to be your penis for a week.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
