The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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