Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
