I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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