in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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