this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
false alarm. still invincible.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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