i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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