the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize