She is in my trunk
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
