Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
