youre lurking in front of me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
