It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
