i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
