just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
