its not stalking. its research.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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