Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize