ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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