I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish you could order shots online.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
