Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i would one night stand the shit outta him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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