Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
