We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize