Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
