what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
