Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
