a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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