I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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