I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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