I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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