so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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