I threw up into my coffee this morning.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He better not be in your backpack
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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