Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
