I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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