she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize