this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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