i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
