I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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